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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113665">A kiss is a thing of two.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnochianLullabies/pseuds/EnochianLullabies'>EnochianLullabies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Paradise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, but! they are happy with eachother okay, some sad moments</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:28:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnochianLullabies/pseuds/EnochianLullabies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Life wasn't being fair with Dudley, one horrible day his wife took a carriage she would never get off of. After that, he and his son moved in with Moray.<br/>The three of them tried to keep going after a life changing event. Remembering ghosts of the past and fighting with the ones from the present, the relathionship between the two friends turned into something they had sweared would never happen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dudley/John Moray</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A kiss is a thing of two.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seeing Dudley with tears down his eyes as he hold his son hand wasn’t something Moray had ever seen, nor something he wanted to see ever again.</p>
<p>The ceremony was quiet, small; of course it was a rainy day; all of the Paradise was there, dark black clothes on, the girls were crying their eyes out, their handkerchiefs burning in the tender skin around their eyes.</p>
<p>Moray wasn’t crying, he had to stay put, he had to do so for Dudley, who had tried to say some words and had broken down.</p>
<p>He started talking then, a hand in his friend shoulder, almost thinking Dudley could fall down if he didn’t do so. He told the whole Paradise the virtues of the woman lying still in a coffin he had helped choose.</p>
<p>He told everyone the virtues of a woman he had called a friend. Dudley would be dead too if it hadn’t been from him, if he hadn’t called for him, making it impossible for him to go with his wife. They had fought then, Dudley and his wife; Dudley had told him so when he had arrived to the Paradise after it.</p>
<p>
  <em>“We fought. Again. Thanks to you, Moray.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t think I have anything to do with your matrimony.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh, you do! You do! You’re worse than a mistress, Moray!” Dudley laughed then, and Moray did too. At that time his wife was still alive.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ah! That hurt Dudley. Now, let’s get working, there is a lot to been done here.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, my love” said Dudley, rolling his eyes; at that time, his wife was already dead.</em>
</p>
<p>It started to pour, the women went back when the ceremony ended, their umbrellas making the cemetery look like a black sea; Dudley and his son stayed near the tombstone. Moray wasn’t sure what to say, he barely ever was, even if he tried to make everyone think he always knew the exact words for every moment, but he had to put order in the whole situation, he always has; he usually has Dudley’s help, not this time. It would be easier if he could order Dudley to take his child inside if he didn’t want to lose him to pneumonia.</p>
<p>“Dudley, my friend, let’s go.”</p>
<p>“I…” Dudley looked down to his child, and back upfront. In that moment something clicked inside him, what was he doing? He had a child to protect, a life to live, a work to come back to. “Let’s go.”</p>
<p>He followed Dudley, and he found himself at the doors of his house. He didn’t have the energy to fight Moray in his decision, even if he had told him to get him back to his own house.</p>
<p>“Someone will bring your things back here, stay with me, a change of… scenery, will be good for both of you.”</p>
<p>“Moray” Dudley knew that it would be easy staying with Moray, so easy he would do it till Moray marry, even after that; it had been difficult for him to go live outside the Paradise when he himself had married, he knew how addictive it all could be. But he was tired, so he left Moray convince him.</p>
<p>“No” interrupted him, “there’s nothing else to add. Let me help. You did so when I was in your position.”</p>
<p>Moray smiled and Dudley tried to do so.</p>
<p>It went like that for a time, Dudley couldn’t tell how much., but months passed. The days and nights could melt together if he had let them do so. But he didn’t lose a day of work, and gathered all his tears for Friday nights, he was good with schedules.</p>
<p>It was harder nowadays at the Paradise, they all worried too much, they all approached him as if he was a mean word away from causing a scandal, he probably was, but he was still the director, and very able at his work. The Paradise didn’t fall to pieces when Moray was absent for one or two days as long as he was there, it has always been like that; he didn’t like having his authority questioned.</p>
<p>He took his son to the park when he had time, sometimes with Moray by his side. He thought, from time to time, about what would people think of them. He had been punished by his father once before, when he was much younger, because he had a too close friend.</p>
<p>They were indeed too close.</p>
<p>Moray had never been <em>that</em> close to him.</p>
<p>The first time he had thought about all that (the first time in the last year at least) was on one of those walks on the park. He was holding one of his son’s hands and Moray was holding the other. They were talking about something happening at the Paradise, a new boy coming to work with them alongside Sam, and how that could affect the whole floor; then his son let go of both their hands and went running in front of them, someone was walking their dog, and he wanted to pat them. He took Moray hand instinctively, without giving it a single thought, like he had done with his wife before. Moray didn’t react to it, he only held onto his hand and kept talking about this new boy and how he was a friend from Sam’s childhood. They let go of the other’s hand when his son went back to take them.</p>
<p>That wasn’t as close as he had been with that friend, but it was…</p>
<p>What was he trying to say? Oh, a client was asking something of him, good God, what had she asked?</p>
<p>“Miss Addignton, I’ll have the honor of taking you to our jewelry section, Mister Dudley it’s been called to Mister Moray office.”</p>
<p>“Oh, of course. Thank you very much.”</p>
<p>It was like that sometimes; he would get himself lost in his own head from time to time. No one in the Paradise hold it against him. No one but him. He supposed that maybe Moray had indeed called him, because he often did, more now than before his wife… was gone.</p>
<p>He knocked before entering, he did now, from time to time, when he was hopping for Moray to not be there, or be busy, so he didn’t have to talk about what he wasn’t doing exactly right and how Moray didn’t think that was the case at all.</p>
<p>“Come in, Dudley!”</p>
<p>It wasn’t a lucky day.</p>
<p>“What do you need now, Moray?”</p>
<p>“You’re always a ray of sunshine.”</p>
<p>“Moray.”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes. I was thinking about the zoo” he said without even looking at him, as if Dudley’s will instantly know what he meant by that.</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me we’re going to make a section for animal clothes. I swear to God, Moray.”</p>
<p>“No, don’t be dense, Dudley. We’re going to the zoo.”</p>
<p>“We?”</p>
<p>“As in you, your son, who yesterday called me dad, and me.”</p>
<p>“Called you what?”</p>
<p>“Don’t get lost in the details, Dudley. We could go next Tuesday, it’s our free day, the Paradise can go a day without their guardian angels. He called me dad, the kid is in love with me, which is normal. If you don’t like the idea of the zoo, well, it’s too late, I already have the tickets” Moray said all that, smiling, while moving some papers from one side of his desk to the other, and making full eye contact only when he talked about Dudley’s son.</p>
<p>Dudley wasn’t sure what had just happened.</p>
<p>“So now you’re planning my days even out of work, and my son calls you dad.”</p>
<p>“That seems to be exactly what is happening.”</p>
<p>“Right.” So he turned around, ready to go and try to get some work done when Moray called his name again. “What?” he said, turning back, his voice much less demanding now, he had always had a soft spot for Moray.</p>
<p>“Come here”, he said, making a hurry up sign with his hand till Dudley was at the other side of his desk “How are you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, please, Moray, I have things to do.”</p>
<p>“Come here.”</p>
<p>“I’m here, I shouldn’t be, because work is piling up as we talk, but I am.”</p>
<p>“Not there, here.”</p>
<p>“What, you want me to sit on your lap? Moray, please, I’m not calling you dad.”</p>
<p>“Dudley, stop being difficult. I just want to know how you are” said Moray standing and circling the desk, Dudley stepped out of the way and Moray leaned on the desk.</p>
<p>“How am I? Perfect. Just… great.”</p>
<p>“Miss Adler thinks-”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about it, okay? I am sorry.” Dudley let his head down.</p>
<p>“No. No, Dudley, I’m not trying to… I said it, I just want to know how you are. You have dinner with me every afternoon, and take breakfast alongside me every morning, we come together to work and are the first and last person we talk to in a day; last week you cried in my shoulder.”</p>
<p>“Why are you telling me this?” Dudley sounded disturbed, raising his voice slightly.</p>
<p>“Aren’t we close friends? Am I not your best friend? The person you can rely on?”</p>
<p>“We are, you are. That’s why I don’t underst-”</p>
<p>“Then, why won’t you tell me how are you?”</p>
<p>“Fine! Fine, Moray! You want to know? I’m angry! Angry all the time. Much more than before she died! Much more. At you for keeping me from her while she was alive, for keeping me alive. At her for dying, for getting mad at me for having to work to keep the three of us living, just for her to… die! At my son for missing her! At the girls for asking about it, about my son, about me, about if I’m <em>still</em> living with you”, Moray hold his breath as Dudley kept talking, opening up for the first time in months “At my father for asking if I’m coming back home, why he hadn’t meet his grandson, why I’m living with a man, if I had been kept for the straight road again. But mostly! Mostly I’m angry at myself for being alive!” he breathed out the little air he had left, he wasn’t crying, but his eyes where red. “So, how am I, you ask. Perfectly fine, Moray, I just hate everything, and everyone; but can’t yell at anyone because it was ‘an accident and no one is to blame’ as the doctor who closed my wife’s eyes said.</p>
<p>“That’s okay.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You have the right to be angry, at me, at your wife, at your son, at your father, at the whole world, Dudley; they took away the woman you loved, they changed your life in an irreversible manner.”</p>
<p>“it’s not fair” whispered Dudley, his head down, his shoulders relaxed, his legs trembling a little “it’s not fair.”</p>
<p>“Death never is” said Moray, taking Dudley between his arms. Dudley started crying then, small, soft cries that made a funny noise. “You only have to promise to kept going, for all the people you hate” he said, his voice small, putting a hand in Dudley’s head. “For me and your son.”</p>
<p>“He likes you better anyway, any day now he’s going to start calling me Dudley” he smiled against Moray shoulder, but he gripped at his jacket as if he was gripping a lifesaver.</p>
<p>“That’s not true” Moray reassured him, kissing the top of his head. He went still after that, waiting for Dudley reaction, he laughed.</p>
<p>“You just kissed my head. I’m not a woman, Moray.”</p>
<p>“Sorry. I…”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. It was funny” Dudley detached himself from Moray, wiped his eyes and coughed “But I’m not a woman.”</p>
<p>“I’m very sure of it.”</p>
<p>“So stop trying to court me with walks to the zoo and alongside the river.”</p>
<p>“You know I do it for your soon! And you like it.”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, the boy you want to adopt yourself!” Dudley laughed, successfully having moved the conversation around; Moray thought himself so charming (he was) and cunning, that didn’t think anyone else could use his little tricks. “I better get moving so I earn enough money he won’t jump from my arms into yours.”</p>
<p>Moray rolled his eyes and waited till the door was closed to get back to his chair.</p>
<p>He wouldn’t think about it, because it had been a silly thought in the first place, put it wasn’t only the top of the Dudley’s head he had wanted to kiss; he wanted to kiss his sore, red eyes; his shouting lips.</p>
<p>Ah, well, back to work.</p>
<p>They tried to go to the zoo the next Tuesday, but it was raining, thundering for a matter of fact, so they went about their usual day. At night Moray had a brilliant idea about some new silk he could import from China. He was so ecstatic about it that he barged into Dudley’s room at one o’clock without even asking himself if Dudley would be awake.</p>
<p>Of course, he wasn’t. Dudley was deep asleep, smiling in dreams, Moray remembered Dudley as a lousy sleeper, arms out of the sheets, legs hanging, a lot of kicking, all that he had learned around the years, when they were younger and slept together when Dudley’s father took them to the forest. He hated the man now, for a good reason, but he had seemed a good enough father in the past. If he had only known before.</p>
<p>“Moray?” Dudley had woken up partially, he rubbed his eyes and yawned “Did something happen at the Paradise?”</p>
<p>“No, no. Sorry, everything is okay.”</p>
<p>“So you usually come into my room only to watch me sleep or…?”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because you are in my room. Watching me, while I’m asleep.”</p>
<p>“No. I mean. I was thinking about the Paradise, I thought about the silks Miss Adler was talking about and-”</p>
<p>“Moray, is still… night.”</p>
<p>“It’s one o’clock.”</p>
<p>“Are you trying to give me even more arguments to quick you out of my room?”</p>
<p>“Oh. Oh, I was only… Good night, Dudley.”</p>
<p>“Good night, Moray, close the door on your way out.”</p>
<p>“Yes” Moray walked away and Dudley turned to the other side.</p>
<p>“Moray” Dudley called, and Moray turned to see him “tell me all about it in the morning.”</p>
<p>Moray smiled wide “Yes.”</p>
<p>They didn’t go to the zoo for the next two months, partly because of the weather, partly because of the Paradise.</p>
<p>The day at the zoo was excruciating, that child liked every single animal he could get a sight off. But it was all so worth it, Dudley was laughing openly, bumping arms with him every now and then (he wasn’t sure why that made him happy, but it sure did), they ate ice cream. He bought the kid a plushy of a giraffe, even as Dudley told him not to do so, but he didn’t get angry, he laughed and playfully slapped his back, telling him how much more the kid will fall in love with him now.</p>
<p>Well, if only it was his father and not only the child. What? No, no, what was he thinking? Why did he just? Oh God. Not that again.</p>
<p>He wasn’t stupid. He was far from stupid. But he was one to deny his feelings quite well; he had done it before; he had, in fact, done it when he had first meet Dudley and something inside of him that he had never felt for another boy had woken up, he was too small then to put a word to it; but he was quite fast in knowing what he had to do ‘keep him as a close friend’, was what he told himself ‘you don’t need nor want anything else for another man’, he had told himself then and repeated every now and then when something inside him started trembling.</p>
<p>Then, a night a few years ago, they had gone drinking; they were quite… drunk, drunk as they could be. They were going home, the night already messing with the day as lovers do. Passing an alley Dudley murmured something, then laughed to himself.</p>
<p>“What did you said?”</p>
<p>“Just… Thinking out loud. I don’t… They were kissing.”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“Two men in the alley. No! Moray, don’t go back there! You-”</p>
<p>“Sssh, I have never saw it!” whispered Moray “don’t scare them away.”</p>
<p>“Oh, God, Moray, they aren’t some kind of animal in a zoo!”</p>
<p>“Have you seen them before?”</p>
<p>“I… My father hates them.”</p>
<p>“Well, he isn’t the only one in this society.”</p>
<p>“What about you?” Moray had stopped trying to get back to the alley, and was walking back alongside Dudley, calmly (but not straight) back to their journey home.</p>
<p>“No. I… I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>He was aware of himself. He knew he had felt something the day he had saw Dudley. He could say now that he felt companionship, a strong friendship, something like that, something that could quiet the rumors if they started to roam the streets about why they were so close. But he knew it wasn’t that what he had felt in his teens, what he could still fell if he let himself, he had felt something much more simple, much more taboo: lust.</p>
<p>“I don’t mind either” said Dudley keeping him away from his thought for a moment, “I used to, for a time” he said quietly.  Moray knew he was thinking (it looked like they were sober enough to have a conversation like that or, maybe, they were drunk enough to permit it. “After my father almost beat me to death.”</p>
<p>“What?” Moray was out of his mind for a moment, ready to kill a threat that wasn’t there. When had that happened? How didn’t him realize.</p>
<p>“I was… young, maybe fourteen. It was the summer I was away visiting my mother’s family. I had this friend. We were close, even when we have only met that summer. Quite close. Too close.”</p>
<p>Moray didn’t understand for a moment, then Dudley moved his eyebrow up and he stood still for a second. And he felt an irrational jealousy, who was that boy? How comes he had never heard of him before?</p>
<p>“What?” he asked, as if that would change the story. ‘Why wasn’t me? I was his best friend’ crossed furiously his mind, of course he didn’t felt like that for Dudley, of course Dudley wasn’t referring to <em>that</em>. But he was, Moray knew. And he hated it.</p>
<p>“Moray, you aren’t that dense, stop asking stupid questions.”</p>
<p>“So you father… found out?”</p>
<p>“He sure did. Don’t think I don’t love my wife. And stop looking at me like that.”</p>
<p>“So how is it?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Now you are the one being obtuse. How is it, being with another man?”</p>
<p>“I… I’m not drunk enough for this.”</p>
<p>“I think you are, we only let left the flowerpots water without drinking.”</p>
<p>“I should have drunk that too, then.”</p>
<p>“Kiss me?”</p>
<p>“What?” Dudley shouted, from the alley two shadows were emerging trying to cover their faces. “You are out of your mind.”</p>
<p>“Come on, Dudley! It’s science!”</p>
<p>“I’m not some stupid experiment, Moray! I’m your friend!”</p>
<p>“That’s why!”</p>
<p>“Keep dreaming, my friend, I was young and stupid, and I’m happily married now, and you are… you never had that inclination to being with. What do you want? We both in a cell just because you’re drunk? No way.”</p>
<p>“Dudley, you are to upt-”</p>
<p>Dudley was close to kissing him, out of either rage or pity. He didn’t, he tapped his hand against Moray’s lips instead and then he kept walking. </p>
<p>Moray didn’t bring ‘the question’ up again in the next years, out of respect if anything. The curiosity never settled, it was there every time he looked at Dudley lips; which happened quite often, but he didn’t act upon it.</p>
<p>Except that night…</p>
<p>That night after they have arrived from the zoo, Dudley’s son was fast sleep hugging his new toy, while they were warming a glass of whiskey in their hands, Dudley was sitting and Moray was standing next to the chimney in the most peaceful silence. Then, he had to try it again, he wasn’t exactly sure why, but he knew he had to, and he had always trusted his instinct.</p>
<p>“Dudley?”</p>
<p>“Yes, Moray?” Dudley was already rising his eyebrow; oh, how could him resist it? It was so much fun to get on Dudley’s nerves.</p>
<p>“Kiss me?”</p>
<p>Dudley rolled his eyes, let the whiskey in the coffee table and stood up, he walked towards Moray who was opening his eyes so much it should hurt.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Dudley!”</p>
<p>“What? Why would you even ask me that?”</p>
<p>“I want to know how it feels!”</p>
<p>“Why? Just, why would you want to know that!”</p>
<p>“Because I want to.”</p>
<p>“Moray, you aren’t three, ‘because I want’ isn’t an argument, even less this time.”</p>
<p>“But why? ‘Because I want’ should be enough of an argument when it comes to kissing.”</p>
<p>“But you don’t want to kiss me, you want to know how kissing a man feels, go and find yourself any man, why haven’t you in these years?”</p>
<p>“I want to kiss you.”</p>
<p>They felt silent for a moment.</p>
<p>“Did you just hear yourself, Moray? Are you going mad?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to for some time now, maybe since I’ve known you.”</p>
<p>“Stop talking.” Dudley moved away to a window way too big for his liking, and back to the chimney, Moray walked next to Dudley, crossing quietly the steps separating them, as if he was sure Dudley would run away. “Moray.”</p>
<p>“Dudley.”</p>
<p>“We’ve known each other for many years. You’ve known I… I can favor men for quite some time now. Why are you telling me this now? How am I supposed to believe you?”</p>
<p>Moray touched Dudley’s face, slowly caressing his check to finally cup it. Dudley sighted, he closed his eyes for a second. Moray could felt his heart beat even without touching him.</p>
<p>“Can I?”</p>
<p>“Do I even have a say in this?” he whispered.</p>
<p>“Believe me when I say I wanted this for far more time than I was aware of.”</p>
<p>“And how much time were you aware of it?”</p>
<p>“Two years.”</p>
<p>“And-”</p>
<p>“Can I?”</p>
<p>“Moray.”</p>
<p>“Can I?”</p>
<p>Dudley looked at his eyes, he nodded slowly, as if saying it out loud was confessing for a sin he was ready to commit. Hell, he had been ready for years, even when he had sworn to never act upon it.</p>
<p>So Moray kissed him. And, simple as that, he took all Dudley had sworn away with it, as if he had taken a silk scarf from his eyes, he could see now. He could see how much he wanted it.</p>
<p>He could see how ‘because I want to’ was a valid argument.</p>
<p>He had planned to maybe, maybe, let Moray take what he wanted, face the disappointment of his friend after it and keep going with his life; well, now that Moray was kissing him, so subtly, almost afraid, he didn’t want to let him take anything without pleading for it first.</p>
<p>So he kissed Moray. Planting a firm hand behind his head, lightly opening his lips and letting his tongue trace Moray’s, surprisingly Moray opened up for him.</p>
<p>“I-” said Moray when Dudley finally separated himself.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to say anything. Good night, Moray.”</p>
<p>“I liked it” he whispered. “I liked it very much, Dudley” he said, taking Dudley by the arm so he didn’t escape.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s… That’s a problem.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because I liked it very much too.”</p>
<p>“I don’t see a problem then.”</p>
<p>“You hardly ever see a problem, Moray.”</p>
<p>“Can you call me John?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think I can, I’ve been calling you Moray for years now.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you could try ‘darling’ then.”</p>
<p>“Don’t even think about it, John.”</p>
<p>Moray smiled, looking down, then up again at Dudley’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Can I… maybe-”</p>
<p>Dudley kissed him again. Was he going to regret it? Well, he had already live through a lot of regrets, if this was going to become one of them he’ll live through it too; but if it wasn’t, if there was a possibility Moray wasn’t going to slap him silly in a couple seconds then… Then he was kissing the man he had dreamt about for years, not only that, the man he had daydreamed of even after he had tried and pinched himself every time he did to try to stop himself, without a positive outcome, of course.</p>
<p>He had Moray in his arms, well, more like the other way around, Moray had a hand in his waist and another in his face, keeping him right there, right where he wanted him.</p>
<p>“Moray-”</p>
<p>“John.”</p>
<p>“Dear” Dudley whispered against his lips, already swallowed, his moustache tickling him, he had seen Moray without it for some time one summer, he preferred being tickled “Dear, Moray, John, Darling.”</p>
<p>“You’re quite good with words Dudley, what do you want?”</p>
<p>“I think I expressed it perfectly.”</p>
<p>“Come to my room” Moray said in a whisper, as if scared of Dudley’s answer; kissed him again trying to persuade him to say yes. He wasn’t aware of what was really asking of Dudley when he told him, Dudley wasn’t completely sure of what he was giving, risking, when he said ‘yes’, and followed Moray to his room, holding a little giggle, as if he was a young boy drunk in love.</p>
<p>“I’m here” he said when he crossed the door’s threshold. Moray was right there a second after, not giving Dudley time to question if he should be there.</p>
<p>He kissed him again, lightly this time, leaving Dudley gapping, his eyebrow up, he kissed his check then, and then what was visible of the side of his neck, he started to slowly work on Dudley’s neckpiece and collar, Dudley let the back of his head hit the door, and smiled, his eyes closed.</p>
<p>“God, you are as hard to undress as a woman” Moray said, finally throwing away the neckpiece.</p>
<p>“I’m not a woman.” Dudley said, opening his eyes, looking for Moray’s, but Moray was occupied opening Dudley’s collar “Moray, I can remark how important it is right now for you to realize I’m not a woman.”</p>
<p>“You aren’t?” Moray said playfully, kissing Dudley’s neck again, Dudley’s moved his head up with a hand “Dudley, I hope this wasn’t your weeding night surprise because I’ve known you’re a man for quite a long time, since I met you, I think.”</p>
<p>“Just-” ‘Just don’t hit me later’, ‘just don’t brush me aside as your greatest error tomorrow’, ‘just don’t change your mind midway’, ‘just-’.</p>
<p>“Let me have you, Dudley, I’ve been thinking about it for two years, maybe more” Moray stepped closer again and Dudley didn’t do anything to prevent it. Moray took his jacket off, then Dudley’s, then Dudley’s vest, all while kissing up his neck till his ear, whispering sweet nothings Dudley wasn’t really listening to because something else was stuck in his head: ‘Let me have you’.</p>
<p>He had wanted for Moray’s to have him since he was only a stupid kid following the stupidest one. Then he remembered he didn’t have to daydream of him anymore, he was right there, trying, and falling, to take his shirt off.</p>
<p>“For working with clothes you are quite awful at taking them off.”</p>
<p>“I work with a lot more things than clothes, and not… directly.”</p>
<p>“I do know how to take a shirt off, for both our luck” Dudley finishing unbuttoning his shirt, took off Moray’s vest and let his bracers fall to the sides of his body as he licked his own lips, keeping Moray at a prudent distance “Seeing something you like, Moray.”</p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>“Then take it, don’t you always?”</p>
<p>“I intent too, my dear” he answered, dancing them both with a graceful movement to the feet of his bed; he took a moment to touch Dudley’s uncovered chest, he had never thought Dudley would be defined under his clothes.</p>
<p>Dudley’s back hit one of the canopy’s posters, and Moray didn’t lose the opportunity to accommodate one of his legs between Dudley’s.</p>
<p>“Moray.”</p>
<p>“Definitely a man.”</p>
<p>“Could say the same.”</p>
<p>They smiled, and as Moray started sucking a very inappropriate mark into Dudley’s chest, Dudley tried, and failed, to take off Moray’s shirt.</p>
<p>“Not as skilled as we think.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Moray.”</p>
<p>Moray took off his shirt, let Dudley admire him for a second and then he was throw to the bed without much decorum, Dudley crawled over him, smiling as he kissed Moray’s chest up to his neck, chin, and separated himself just before he reached his lips.</p>
<p>He put his leg between Moray’s, and slowly moved it up till Moray jolted, he smiled and kissed his check, then his eyelids, then his nose, Moray giggled for a moment just till he felt Dudley’s hand above his trousers, working them open.</p>
<p>He let a small ‘oh’ go when Dudley’s hand got in them. He was still touching clothes, his undergarments, but Moray felt ready to die right there.</p>
<p>Then, Dudley got his hand out, and sat on his own heels.</p>
<p>“I don´t-”</p>
<p>“Do you want to stop?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want you to think I have done this before.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I have never been with another man, Moray. Not to this extend.”</p>
<p>“That’s-”</p>
<p>“I’m not some kind of… whore, that sleeps around the town. Never have been.”</p>
<p>“Never have I ever thought so, Dudley. What is this about?”</p>
<p>“I think… I’m scared.”</p>
<p>“Scared?”</p>
<p>“I have always been.”</p>
<p>“I have never seen you scared.”</p>
<p>“I’m quite scared of most things, Moray, and you know it, you know how Jonas scares me, for example.”</p>
<p>“Jonas scares me too, Dudley. What do you want to say?” ‘Don’t say you’re rethinking all this, don’t say you want to stop’.</p>
<p>“I want to know if you’re doing this with me because you think I’m… easy.”</p>
<p>“Easy? You’re one of the most complicated and intricate people I know, Dudley, dear, I wouldn’t have done… this, with anyone that crossed me; do you think I haven’t had the chance before?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, Mr. Handsome” he said mocking Moray, but he felt already a little more relaxed, he let his shoulders fall, and slowly opened his legs, Moray sat down instead of lifting on his arms, he tried to touch Dudley, taking his arm, and Dudley let him.</p>
<p>“Dudley, I’ll never see you as a whore; not even if you end up sleeping with everyone in this town; you’re, have always been, for a very long time, someone precious to me. And I hope I am too for you; because this is also my first time with a man and I wouldn’t like for it to be with anyone but you.”</p>
<p>Moray kissed him and worked open his pants, he slowly turned them over so Dudley was resting on the bed and he was the one above him.</p>
<p>Dudley was trembling under him, that wasn’t a great sign or so he supposed, so he slowly caressed his check, then his torso, kissed his lips, down his neck to his chest, Dudley giggled a little and he did too; He had stopped trembling, he searched his eyes and looked into them, Dudley smiled and Moray let his hand wander down again, he cupped his friend and Dudley let out a little gasp, Moray smirked.</p>
<p>“God, Moray, are you planning on actually doing anything?” Dudley joked and Moray acted affected by it, even as he was smiling even more, he got Dudley out of the rest of his clothes “This is wildly unfair.” Dudley whispered, not daring to look at Moray’s eyes that were eating him up.</p>
<p>“Dudley, for how long have we know each other?”</p>
<p>“Since forever.”</p>
<p>“’Since forever’ is a pretty long time, how comes I have never seen you like this?”</p>
<p>Dudley was about to answer, with quite a good remark, but then Moray got undressed, much quicker with himself than he had been with him, slowly getting rid of his clothes as he kissed every new inch of skin revealed.  Moray was… impressive. He wasn’t only a smart and handsome man, no, he had to be everything.</p>
<p>“Come here.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Please, Moray, come here right now, or I, myself-” Moray let himself lay on the bed, right next to Dudley, who rapidly climbed above him “Good boy.”</p>
<p>“I like that tone.”</p>
<p>“You’re going to like it even more” Dudley kissed him quiet, he, finally, was touching Moray, he swallowed the tiny whisper Moray let out when he started to jerk him slowly. Moray’s hands grabbed his ass moving him against Moray, Dudley could felt his own dick against his fist but he couldn’t do anything about it “Moray” he pledged, but Moray was far gone at the moment “Moray, please, I” Moray opened his eyes and smiled at him, he moved one of his hands to Dudley’s nape kissing him again, then he flipped them over “You should warn me when you want to do that, is the second time alre-”</p>
<p>“You’re really never going to stop scolding me, right?”</p>
<p>“Have I ever?”</p>
<p>Moray smiled, putting himself between Dudley’s legs, and for a moment he thought ‘God, why have I lost so many years of my life without him under me?’, his cock was already leaking, reddish and hard above his stomach. Moray wasn’t sure what made him lower himself between Dudley’s legs and take it between his lips.</p>
<p>“Moray!” Dudley tried to move him away, unsuccessfully. “What are you- oh, God- Just… Moray! Stop!”.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Only hookers do that!”</p>
<p>“Dudley, my dear, you’re hook on being anything else than what we are, relax.”</p>
<p>“And what are we?”</p>
<p>“Don’t you know?”</p>
<p>“I know we are friends, best friends since childhood, but best friends don’t do this.”</p>
<p>“Some do” Moray replied kissing one of Dudley’s tights.</p>
<p>“We are partners on the Paradise, but I hope this isn’t a common thing between you and your employees.” Moray only kissed his other tight in response, making Dudley shiver.</p>
<p>“Lovers.”</p>
<p>“Lovers” Dudley repeated, and if he had something more to add he couldn’t, because Moray had taken him again in hand, and without any more to add to the conversation has started to lick around Dudley’s crown, Dudley has silenced himself with a hand to his mouth, and Moray used his other hand to tug at his arm till Dudley let both his hands down at the bed, holding fists of the bedclothes in his hands. “Moray, that is es-” Moray wasn’t taking any of that, and in a single movement he swallowed all he could fit of Dudley, who exhalated a quivering moan before trying to stop himself biting his own lip. Moray looked up at him and felt how he had starting rubbing himself against the bedclothes. “Moray, please” Dudley whispered.</p>
<p>Moray kept it going for only a couple more of movements before he let go of Dudley, smiled at him and with the courage of not having idea what he was doing he asked “Can I?” and Dudley, who had said he had never been with a man before, and he didn’t technically lie, nodded, and tried to open the drawer in his nightstand, kicking Moray in the head with his leg in the process.</p>
<p>“That’s what you get for-”</p>
<p>“Giving you pleasure? You’re a hard lover, Dudley.”</p>
<p>Dudley rolled his eyes and stopped trying to get the drawer open, Moray realized that and crawled up the bed to get to it, Dudley stopped him on his way up to kiss him, he took both of their cocks in hand and started a slow rhythm as he kissed Moray neck. Making it difficult (really difficult) for him to get to the drawer, but not impossible.</p>
<p>He took a jar of Vaseline and tried not to think of why Dudley had it there. He kissed at Dudley neck, leaving another quite visible mark and then looked for his eyes.</p>
<p>“Just do it, Moray.”</p>
<p>“You really like bossing me around.”</p>
<p>“It’s the reason I’m still breathing” Dudley smiled, kissed him and let go of their cocks; Moray got some of that Vaseline on his fingers and Dudley braced himself for what he was told wasn’t a pleasant experience at first.</p>
<p>Moray had never been in a situation like it, and he had near to no information, but he wanted it to be as pleasurable to Dudley, more even than he wanted it to be for himself. He kissed Dudley’s tight as he got both his legs over his shoulders. He worked a finger inside him and Dudley caught his breath for a moment.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Yes, Moray, keep going.”</p>
<p>“We don’t have to rush, Dudley, I-”</p>
<p>“I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. Keep going.”</p>
<p>Soon enough Moray added a second finger as he kissed Dudley’s tight up and down, trying to kept him for the burn, at some point he did found a funny spot because Dudley let go a moan, soon after that Dudley looked at him and nodded just like he had done before. Moray got more of that Vaseline on his cock and got himself aligned.</p>
<p>“If you-”</p>
<p>“Moray, please.”</p>
<p>Moray thrusted in and Dudley swallowed so hard that Moray thought there shouldn’t be air left in the room. Then he smiled and told him to stop still for a moment, it wasn’t a full minute before Dudley talked again, but Moray could have count the minutes in a year in that time.</p>
<p>He was so full of emotions that for an instant he wasn’t sure if Dudley was talking at all. Dudley told him again that he could move ‘slowly, please’ and took him by the shoulders. Moray just couldn’t get enough. He wasn’t sure he could ever.</p>
<p>So when he was ready to let go, his rhythm picking up, Dudley moaning in his ear as he touched himself, he felt a little disappointed it all would come to an end so soon after years of waiting.</p>
<p>“Moray, I-”</p>
<p>“Me too. Dudley I don’t want-”</p>
<p>“Moray, please. Please.”</p>
<p>And what was he supposed to do? Moray kissed him or maybe it was the other way around, it didn’t really matter, because, after all, kissing was a thing of two.</p>
<p>He felt careless on top of Dudley, who didn’t slap him away immediately only because he was as scared as Moray of it being the first and last time they would be together.</p>
<p>“I hope next time you won’t knock my head at the end too” he said tiptoeing around the matter.</p>
<p>“I would do whatever you want for you to have me again. And again” he said kissing Dudley, “and again” he repeated kissing him once more “and-”.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, I get it. Let’s sleep, I’m worn out” Moray yawned “Don’t say a thing about it.”</p>
<p>Moray, of course, had hoped for Dudley to be there when he woke up; he wasn’t, but it wasn’t a problem beca-</p>
<p>Wait, why would Dudley be in his bed again?</p>
<p>Oh God.</p>
<p>Oh God.</p>
<p>“Oh, God.”</p>
<p>He had done it good this time. He was rubbish, no, worse than that, he was worse than a devil. How could he ever look back at Dudley’s eyes? God, of course Dudley wasn’t there, he surely had come back to his senses, maybe he was in the bathroom, taking the longest of baths, trying to clean himself off of Moray’s scent.</p>
<p>How could he? He was the worst kind of man, he had taken all of his friend trust on him, and used it against him, taking advantage of him in his lowest time.</p>
<p>“Moray, are you awake?” Dudley had entered the room from the ensuite bathroom and was looking at him; he hadn’t shaved so he may have just woken up. He looked radiant, with a pajama pant he might have taken from Moray’s drawer and- why was he looking at him? Hadn’t he made a promise a moment ago to never look at him again? Could he hold even one of his promises?</p>
<p>“Oh, God, Dudley. I’m so sorry, I’m so very, sincerely, sorry” he said standing up, noticing quite late he wasn’t wearing any clothes.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I tempted you; I made you do-”</p>
<p>“Oh, please, Moray, you have yourself in such a high standard.” Dudley got back in bed, scooting Moray to the other side. “It’s early even for me, and I’m sure my boss would let me arrive late today, so stop saying nonsense and let me sleep.”</p>
<p>“Dudley” Dudley turned to face him, Moray caressed his check and Dudley smiled. “You can’t imagine how happy I am right now.”</p>
<p>“I hope somehow close to how happy I am.”</p>
<p>Moray smiled with him and kissed the top of his head.</p>
<p>“Stop doing that! Let’s sleep, for God’s sake!”</p>
<p>“Yes, darling.”</p>
<p>Dudley rolled his eyes but didn’t protest when Moray kissed him, he moved closer to him, Moray adjusted the bedsheets so they were properly covered, he couldn’t quite believe what had happened that night, or how their lives were going to change from that moment on, but, as Dudley felt asleep once again in his arms, Moray couldn’t feel more grateful that God to let an angel sleep out of Heaven for once, even if it was only to rest at the Paradise.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! I know this fandom is really small so every kudo is appreciated! This took me much more than intended to write but I'm really happy to be contributing in some form. Hope you liked it! (also I watched the whole series in spanish, so, probably, the vocabulary and speech are a little off.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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